Why We Should Stop Caring About What People Think Of Us

.     I’m not saying that we should not care at all, but how we’re affected by what people think of us, it is a prodigy that we don’t let the world think that we’re vulnerable but, in hindsight, that utterance is absolutely false.

The healthy relationship between our conscious body of reason and our emotional resistance is  recuperating how we let others affect us. The single mindset of letting others think that we don’t care for the things they have to say about us and at the same time, acting out when someone puts into words about you, is tearing down the belief of good will and acceptances of will in your life.

“It’s easier said than done.”, some people tell me.

But nothing is easy if we make it hard for us to do. Life is not as simple as getting up in the morning, drinking a cup of coffee and heading off to a monotonous job, getting back home and sleeping until you have to be up for work the next day. There is the entire world out there: so many people to meet and so much money to make. Well, at least that’s what people want (and they think that they NEED) in life: to become rich. While things are hard, they’re easy as well.

Just as how becoming rich is difficult for everyone, accomplishing at not letting others’ opinions about you get to you is also difficult. But difficulty does not mean that it can never be achieved or it’s going to take you years and years to master. If you contemplate on how often you let yourself slip towards anger and distress when you realize that those around you don’t understand the real you, then, you’ll never begin to trust your actions. Don’t sit and think about what that friend thinks of you and what you should do to convince him/her to think otherwise because in truth, that friend may not even listen to your story. Let alone you trying to explain it to him/her.

Everyone has their own opinion about everyone else, no matter it right or wrong in your mind. Instead of going out of your way and emotion to let others know you the way you want them to, you do what you do best, everyday, just like another day in your life and let that speak for you. Just because people have certain thoughts about the way you live and the words you speak, that doesn’t mean that you need to always agree with whatever is being said about you. It just means that people have certain personalities and the most noble and humane thing to do is to accept them for who they are, regardless of them believing otherwise.

When it comes to retaliation, I believe that silence is most excellently practiced when no physical feelings are hurt. Ask yourself, would you lose your pride, peace, respect, dignity or faith (or anything) if you don’t give back to the person who thinks any less of you or of anyone you love dearly? The answer to this question is unambiguous, but often times it is not bearable to answer.

Would you care to explain your life, your past, your beliefs, and all that makes you you to someone who won’t ever understand how you’ve survived and are still surviving? Are you really deserving to be answerable to anyone, and I mean anyone, if they think of you any less or more?  No, you are not. I’m sorry that I’m not sorry to break this to you, but you don’t deserve to change anyone else’s opinion about you because it’s not yours to change, by right.

If you love hip-hop music because you like a particular artist and “certain” people think and often discuss that you do it out of the perpetual pressure of fitting in the crowd, then you can’t do anything about it. You might speak about this to them once; maybe twice, but after one point, you should understand that there is no point in arguing with those who haven’t been in your head and understood the reasons.

This was such a queer example, I know, but if you want to get a much more serious example, I’ll give you my story.

I left college last year, 2014, because I felt like I didn’t belong there as I thought I would have. I was disappointed. I felt out of place. The idea of studying a subject that felt forced onto me because I had to pass was irritating the shit out of me. And despite everyone telling me not to leave and stick around for a while because then I might start enjoying it, if not enjoying then liking it- I couldn’t change my mind. I wanted to leave because I wanted to learn about other stuff that mattered to me, like Blogging, Philosophy, Art, Photography, Digital Media, and so much more. I had not fixated my mind about what I wanted to learn because I was so darn curious about everything, but, I didn’t let that confusion stop me from making the decision of dropping out of college. And I did. The reason why I wrote this is because I didn’t let others’ opinions about me quitting or making a huge mistake or that I would be regretting this until I find something to sink my feet in, get to me. I did what I had to do. I’ll rephrase that: I did what I wanted to do.

The only thing you should care about is what you’re going to be today and not what you were yesterday. We are given a new day, for the rest of our lives and personally, I do not intend to spend it by thinking about what others think about me and how I am going to change that. Because, I don’t want to change that and I never will. I use that praise and criticism to grow more proficient and compassionate because I know I will make mistakes and stand back up, but I don’t want to make a mistake of letting someone else’s opinion alter my beliefs in a way that it is changing the healthy relationship between my conscious body of reason and my emotional resistance.

The reason why I am writing this article is not because I want to share my experience with you. I write what I write for a conversation. I long for such meaningful and deep conversations in my life and the only way I know I matter is by leaving behind pieces that I have learnt in my life, as a conversation.


The Faces of Personality

There is an unusual coupling between every individual’s perspective today. One individual’s stream is triggered by his/her’s positive and negative thoughts, that gives birth to words and actions; while for the second individual is another stream of tale. We are divided by such triggers, of thoughts and emotions that form our personality and influences us to change but fortunately, we are united by the pure completion of human bonding and relationships.

It is unexceptional to say that I am different; but that shouldn’t mean I sail on a boat that leads nowhere and the river is empty and still waters. If our personalities are unparalleled in this world, it doesn’t mean that our lives should be kept peerless. Because, in every human nature, the most transparent relationship is the one that you share with yourself, first, and then with those around you.


Endure a life and a death

In the end, we all die. We die inevitably as equals without discrimination and power. We die for the life we lived, no matter the years we have lived for. Life is the filling of death and vice versa; it doesn’t exist so that the other is temporarily defeated in a way that we feel at ease when we don’t have to burden both of the realities, life and death, together, on our shoulders. Life is the ultimate definition of death and death is of life. Without a reality as fearsome and strong as death, life would have not been lived as it is now, by us! Without a reality as beautiful and simple as life, death would have not been the farewell of the end. So, as you see, we aren’t here to choose life or death each day; we aren’t here to decide our faith in both of them; and we aren’t here to plan our life or our death to live a monotonous human-life and to surrender foolishly to death. God has given us life and only God will give us death. The choice that is left with us is as simple as our creation- when life is given to us, we should accept it with gratitude and live wisely and whole-heartedly; and when death is before us, we should accept it with weightiness and happiness as that is why we have been created for. Life is made short by effort, so we should not be quick in our actions and responsibilities; and death is made painful by effort, so we should not fear oblivion. To endure the ability to accept what is before us is to endure a peaceful life and a peaceful death.

To endure a life and a death is simple yet extremely difficult. It requires knowledge and patience; knowledge that of a noble and wise soul, who understands people and their sentiments towards existence and duty; and the patience to believe in the gravity of that knowledge. Knowledge isn’t written in scripture; knowledge is as pure as driven snow, learnt only by those who possess the desire to not live in denial any-longer. We have lived to die and in the end, we die for the life we have lived. Without true knowledge, life and death would be frittered by us. And there will come a time when we will feel sheer guilt and regret for not understanding the purist purpose of our lives when knowledge was offered to us, as true knowledge is omnipresent. To endure wisdom is to endure a complete life and a complete death.

Beauty is misunderstood today. Beauty is not just physiognomy and demeanor; it is beyond the beauty of our minds, it’s the creation of our soul and how we, as individuals, have chosen to build it. Beauty is everywhere and those who perceive it, speculate on it and use it are one of humanity’s purist creations. Beauty is inevitable, it is a gift of mind, soul and body; we are products of this gift, so lucky to have been created to live out of this, in a world so chaotic and manifold, that we choose to be who we are everyday. This choice is ours and will be forever; as beauty was a gift to us, this choice is a gift for the world as we cater ourselves to it. So, as beauty is as delicate as a feather, we should design it with thought and sensibility. We shouldn’t let ourselves be taken advantage of this gift in a way that would misfortune the purity of our lives. We shouldn’t become an example of prejudice and hatred in our own eyes. We should live each day with patience, if not happiness; and gratitude, if no wealth. Always remember that beauty is not what others see in us, it is that vision we see in ourselves. To endure beauty in living is to endure a good life and a good death.