You can be the most attractive person on earth and not have realized your heart. You can be the most giving person on earth and not have realized the power of self-acceptance. You don’t have to be wise to be humble. You don’t have to be sensible to empathize with pain, sadness, and anger. Every quality, expression, reaction, emotion, feeling, and action is individual for its own existence. Our minds are just hardwired to relate one trait for another. Like when you’re climbing one step at a time to get to the next. Can’t they exist on their own? Each steps for its own?
That’s how mistakes are made, aren’t they?
When you say a person doesn’t have a heart, you’re wrong. What you don’t realize is that they do, but they’ve never truly looked inside. Why? Because they hate it. They hate or haven’t forgiven who they really are…
or their circumstance…
or their past…
or their relationships…
or anything else.
They think they are those things. That it defines them.
You’re wrong when you say people don’t have a heart because of what they do. The truth is they do have a heart, but they hate it so much, they just can’t accept it, let alone mend it for what it is.
The most courageous people on earth are those who have realized, felt, and accepted their truth, no matter how unpredictable and exhausting. To inhabit a world filled with people, idea, dreams, and material dynamism, a single soul left in sight can still feel lonely and indifferent after exposed to the complexities of life. As a mind brimming with infinite thoughts, we’ve been handed out the power to focus on one thought, one feeling, and one emotion all in a second. The forced experiences of joy, laughter, and relief are as spiritless as negative thoughts of rejection, loneliness, and fear. And trying to weave the focused flow of parallel understanding of many, as we do, we identify something that ceases to obliterate us out our senses. It is with us at the present minute, it will be so long you inhabit it as your ordinary romance. Certainly, there’s something we can do, within each of us, to either create a third self out of exhaustion or accept the ordinary for what it is until we feel nothing. But to let that happen, out of time and space, we must understand why a thought must be destroyed, not by dismissing its existence completely or naming false its intention. Why to undo a thought must we reclaim its honesty, integrity, and hope before we get rid of it completely. Are you then lifted from sense of self-worth to a fraction of thought where nothing is more or less exact, but it’s only clear to grasp? You hope to not daydream, but you still do. You hope to not expect from expectations of yourself, but you still do. So, if you can’t change those aspects of your life to undo a thought, why must you do this? The narration of how ordinary life is, how ordinary you are, and how ordinary your thought is is what makes the world go round.
Thoughts of all kinds have set priorities between faith, uncertainty, and ambition, so for all adventure of life to come to an end, an artist must consume to know what it is all about. Questions about ‘why me?’, ‘how does it make me feel?’, ‘why now?’, ‘when will it all end?’ are all mind-boggling, but that’s what a person does to prepare to be separated from the whole of life. So, the science of thought is good to know when you are certain it won’t last forever. Otherwise, it’s a routine, then a habit, and then your destruction. Among the great mysteries, wanting to eliminate negative thinking is socialistic, but barely touched upon.
Techniques that squeeze us out from the realms of negative thoughts are entirely life-changing if you think about it. But, to start from somewhere, we always find ourselves on the edge of something completely contradictory, then unpredictable. Repetition of positivity can work, and it does unless you’re exhausted of controlling your mind. Being grateful is rewarding, like the first smell of rain, but you always, somehow, grow to the normal life agenda that human spirit copes for as long as you’re at the extreme of something. When humans confronted this idea of acceptance, fear of feeling something was on the cusp of the essence. The impression that we must feel completely only to vaporize a thought isn’t the ‘easy way out’, but again what is easy when in the absence of difficult?
As you come closer and closer to the awakening, your openhearted curiosity puzzles your state of mind. You limit yourself to music, nature, books, and mindful conversations to learn to be more careful yet composed of the dependency. You speak openly, you laugh out loud, and you believe dauntlessly, but somehow you’re becoming more and more of that thought. In the face of that situation, you can not ask yourself the ‘how’, but instead find a quiet pathway through the ‘why’ of destroying a thought from your life. That’s your rescuing you set yourself up to need. And that is what will keep us from within ourselves.
Craving for change isn’t the routine any longer. Maybe you don’t know what is, and maybe you won’t ever, but the virtue of believing that there is, won’t stop you from trying. In tribute to that which remains unknown, here is a short poem.
. . .
Earn wings not to strike but to shift from one to another for life is nothing but particular.
Earn wings to be patient it isn’t what you’ve gone through but what you’ve done what you were before “it” happened and what you are now after it’s done.
Earn wings don’t dwell in the past they prick they hurt they don’t caress the truth is they just blind you to think you’re not the worthiest.
Earn wings for there will be complications it’s life, not your world of expectations nothing works out the way you want so what? stop the cringe when you cry when you want to anger when you have to those are complications too but as easy as they come don’t succumb to those who can’t forgive.
Earn wings your goals will never end they come and go the answer lies in those trying moments when you know you need to start letting go.
Earn wings replace the nest to become a crest against the immovable the dishonest and guess what you know the rest.
Do you find yourself stuck between feelings of resistance, doubt, confusion, and at the same time self-morale? That’s your mind telling you to string your loose ends of insecurity together and to get back on the horse because life proceeds only in one point of compass, and it doesn’t stop for you. We are so frustrated with the achievement part, the productive part or even the fulfillment part of life that we’re unknowingly casting a shadow over how things really are instead of what we see people get out of them. Our brains have learned to measure and not matter in experiences that are inevitably labeled and not perceived.
What isn’t making you insecure makes you stronger. And what makes you insecure, realizing that it does, also makes you stronger. The problem with insecurity is that it’s either all or nothing at all- so the only way humans can embrace insecurities, vulnerabilities, and whatever is by looking at the gray areas that account for what you do rather than what you get out of what you’ve done.
The thing about insecurities is that they’re not, in their truly real state, coming closer to an absolute “secure” point if humans act on it. They just keeping on swelling persistently until there comes a moment that destroys everything that you love or that loves you back. Artistic realizations compel you to do more and achieve more, but when in reflection of how artistic you are- that’s where we begin to answer our most challenging questions. Questions such as:
Who are you when no one’s watching?
Can you remember who you were before the world told you who you should be?
Do you think you’re enough for yourself to live with?
While these questions are better answered by experiences than by words, it is through words that we train ourselves, without any external cultivation about life that really matters. The solution to societal and media schooling of how it wants you to look like, feel like, and portray like, we don’t need to abolish the system. Instead, let’s try thinking from the beginning. Let’s start worshipping not what has been taught, but what’s out there to grasp. It’s simple to have been told by others the ways of living as much as it’s easy to listen and not act on what you are possibly going to believe in. But that doesn’t mean you can’t say no.
Robert Downey Jr. says “Listen, Smile, Agree. And then do whatever the fuck you were gonna do anyway.”
It’s not difficult to solve your problems, what’s difficult is deciding which of YOUR problems are actually YOURS. There’s beauty in solving problems while there’s absolute disgust when you don’t accept and truly understand the only thing you’re born with into this world, your mind, and your soul.
Stop looking at magazines, movies, and other sources of visual information as means to obsess over and feel insufficient about. Not everything is about you unless you’re actually there. Get over yourself, and go do something that matters genuinely instead of building up imaginary standards for yourself from robotic life, boredom, or simply of the loss of you.
If you’re feeling insecure because of rejection:
Understand that life, inevitably, leads us to either negative or positive outcomes, just like any other chain reaction. Any feedback aggravates retaliation, but the thing to remember always is that that’s not it. There is more. If there isn’t already, then make it for yourself; limitation is just a word and it’s all in your mind but if it isn’t your door, stop knocking.
If you’re feeling insecure because of what others want you to become: Be willing to let people down because you’re no longer their idea of perfection when perfection itself is such an incomplete concept. Accept yourself, struggle to learn, fight to grow and then live to reflect positive qualities in yourself, then in those around you.
If you’re feeling insecure because YOU want everything:
Don’t let emotions, cravings, and materialistic things affect you. Everyone has dreams, everyone wants things in their lives, but that’s not something to feel bad about. It’s a choice, not a privilege. You are not any less or any more than the person sitting next to you who’s got everything you feel insecure about. Insecure people will always disapprove of what is and consistently accuse their minds by making others feel like shit. That’s aggressively self-inflictive, if you really think about it.
It won’t matter if you do something admirable when you don’t do something that’s unequal to it. The problem with most of you is that you fail to think twice before finding yourself at such turns; instead, you’ll think to find yourself in something that you love doing, something that you’re passionate about, all the time. But guess what? That’s not when you find yourself…your true self anyway.
Something great happening in your life isn’t 100% positive and neither is it 100% negative. As humans susceptible to progress and flaw, we’re constantly labeling and controlling what we feel against that what we truly want to feel. We’re in a preparation of our own life’s recipe with just the right amount of talent, with a pinch of selfishness and 2 tablespoons of honesty stirred in one big pan of reality. How fortunate are you calling yourself to exist at all when you’re setting yourself up for a fate that denies imperfection and believes in the realness of faultlessness? Along the journey of understanding that perfection helps you draw a boundary between what’s the idea of perfection for you and what’s actually real comes after you’ve gone to the depths of your own mess and success.
It is in the complicated yet transparent moments of imperfection that promises a life filled with many experiences, opportunities, dreams, and awakenings. What’s the worst part of letting your soul surrender to the idea of perfection? It’s the scarcity of pages in a book that’s infinite. It’s that one page in a book that lines your life perfectly from birth to death, setting goals, listing duties and spelling out achievements like you’re meant to fulfill just that which is provided to you, and not created by you. Anything related to your life that can be simply measured is perfection. Perfection is dull and it is everywhere which is why you need to stop chasing it. Perfection doesn’t take you anywhere, in fact, it gets you material wealth and limited mental happiness that will someday fade away until you’re left breathless and numb. That’s when you’ll find yourself. Perfection looks like a door, but it’s the tiny lock that’s strangling the many doors you’re destined to walk past. Perfection is controlling bits of your life that isn’t controlling anything; instead, it’s limiting your emotions, your thoughts, dreams and your love for life. Perfection is the loss of love and appreciation.
How did I find myself? When did I stop and realize that stopping isn’t so bad after all? When did I change? How did I change? Nobody told me that I’d keep finding myself during my darkest moments, nobody told me that I’d rely not on happiness, but on fulfillment, and nobody ever told me that material wealth is going to be important, but it won’t be the only thing in my life that matters in life.
“There is a crack, a crack in everything. That’s how the light gets in.”
Leonard Cohen
As an imperfect human with a mind that works in the moment of many experiences, I will tell you when you will truly find yourself if you, during those moments only, forget what you’ve been taught about life, what you’ve been told you should be feeling or doing or achieving. If you begin to find yourself by keeping certain disciplines about life in mind, you won’t find yourself completely. You have to start from scratch, start in pitch dark and work your way towards the light, heck, create that light for yourself out of thin air and vision. It’s not literal, but it’s discoverable in mind, it’s imaginable in reality and it’s achievable in dreams.
You will find yourself when you’re sitting alone in a room with dim lights, dreaming about experiences that you want to happen in your life with people who you’ve met in reality or made up in mind.
You will find yourself when certain things that you thought weren’t important aren’t working like they used to. We take advantage of that what we already have as mundane and unimportant and once that thing is taken away from us, we’re left completely empty and numb from inside.
You will find yourself when you discover a greater force than humanity, knowledge created by the human race over years and years of experiences and study.
You will find yourself when you practice the art of silence when you don’t have anything to do with your time or say anything to others. That’s when you’re truly comfortable with you who are. That’s when you will understand that silence isn’t awkward, it’s an experience.
You will find yourself when you cry from inside and you think you’re pushing away the pain and the suffering, but the truth is you’re pushing yourself away from you.
You will find yourself when you love deeply after a heartbreak.
You will find yourself when you stop controlling your day like it’s a calendar. Not everything needs to be planned, learn to let things go, sometimes.
You will find yourself when you feel the pain again and again from different experiences and from different heartbreaks.
You will find yourself when you aren’t heartbroken because of love, but you’re mind-broken because of struggle.
You will find yourself when you deal with difficult people around you because then you learn how not to be and how to be. That’s when you understand how others would feel if you behaved the exact same way as others do.
You will find yourself when you struggle day after day to look at things differently like it’s for the first time.
You will find yourself when you meet someone completely different, sit with them and talk them about life, love, happiness, family, heartbreak, and suffering.
You will find yourself when you begin walking on a different route, only to realize that if that route is meant for you or not.
You will find yourself when you stop chasing that what’s perfect. Instead, you look at what’s real.
You will find yourself when what you’re feeling has made you blind, it has consumed your mind, soul and body inevitably, and only in jolt awakening through realization or an external force you understand that if you love yourself as hard as you had loved that person or thing, you’d never be consumed by anything but yourself again.
You will find yourself when you stop assuming the worse and struggling to keep up the best. Instead, you prepare for the worse as well as the best because that takes effort too.
You will find yourself when you stop deriving a feeling from external experiences and things all at once.
You will find yourself when you appreciate your mind by gaining meaningful knowledge and appreciate your body by exercising regularly and eating right most times.
You will find yourself when you’re alone for a long time with the company of books, music, a good movie and good food.
You will find yourself when you’re going to new places, even if it’s across the street to get a new perspective on the resources available to you.
You will find yourself when you stop and enjoy the journey, rather than just the destination.
You will find yourself in a bad book and a good one. Same goes with any movie, song or quote.
You will find yourself when you read quotes that don’t necessarily resonate with who you are and what you do every day.
You will find yourself when you learn a passage that’s complicated, twisty and even unsatisfying.
You will find yourself when you learn something new every day.
You will find yourself when you’re away from the blanket of social conversations and friends.
You will find yourself when you’re spending time with yourself over a good book or doing nothing at all during some weekends.
You will find yourself when you say no when you truly want to.
You will find yourself when you say yes to things that scare you or make your nervous.
You will find yourself when you embark on new experiences.
You will find yourself when you’re honest to people about how you feel about them.
You will find yourself in the kind of thoughts you get and the things you think of when you’re naked in the shower.
You will find yourself when you fail at something you love, miserably, and do it again tomorrow.
You will find yourself when you break the societal rules about love, passion, work, and life in reality.
You will find yourself when you close the textbook and open the mind.
You will find yourself when you do something that you are capable of loving and hating in moments.
You will find yourself when you fail and understand that failing at something isn’t a death sentence, but your life’s reaction to nature and reality.
Of course, these are just a few of the many more moments when you can find yourself. All moments are created, so keep creating more and keep finding yourself with no definite destination.
