Loving Yourself Can Hurt Too

From a very young age, you have to realize you’re enough. Instead of letting go of your fears and your toxic thoughts, all at once, strive to be reflective to reason with those toxic thoughts and you’ll soon realize you’re being harsh and incongruous with yourself. Of all the people on the planet, you talk to yourself the most, so make sure you’re saying positive things to yourself.

Question yourself why you struggle to ache for other people’s acceptance. You’re chasing importance as much as you’re craving attention. Don’t do that. Accept, question, and let go of your thoughts and actions that you always find yourself stressing about later. They’re not worth being in you as much as you’re worth something beyond your own comprehension. You’re born out of the same circumstance as anyone who has ever let you down or hurt you and don’t let anyone tell or show you otherwise. It’s about time we realize our own depths and dive into them rather than question it, at every turn. And if it’s pain you crave for, if you want to destroy yourself and anything you touch, as humans do, begin with yourself. If you want to feel pain in love, try loving yourself first and see how that feels like. Because loving starts from within, and if you can love yourself, you can conquer and build anything.

You must realize you’re enough. You must love yourself to experience pain first because the first kind of pain you’d ever want to feel shouldn’t have to be out of a broken relationship. It shouldn’t arise from a loved one. Try loving yourself enough to want to make amends to be better and more grateful.

Who said loving has to only hurt when it’s loving another human being? To love, any kind of love that is, you can hurt yourself too. Trusting others might be difficult, but trusting yourself is no less. If you never loved the way you were, the way you looked, and the way you changed- it will hurt when you start to love yourself now. You’re looking for the perfect relationship with no trace of lies, anger, and suppression, but how would it feel if you love yourself so much that you can’t lie to yourself anymore. You can’t pretend to be somebody else for yourself because you are the way you are. Being you can hurt. It can make you cry. And it can make you feel things you hadn’t felt before. You can scare away your past or prepare for what’s to come while loving yourself and having that hurt you too.

Be the love you never received.

It’s the rush of mindfulness of being who you are and accepting. It’s the practice of letting go of guilt, letting go of fear, and just breathing for the moment. Loving you can take effort. It doesn’t happen in one thought. It takes many nights. But you do love yourself. You love yourself because you work for it and you work on yourself everyday. You don’t mind failing. You don’t push yourself away from you. You stand, you fight, and realize some of your strengths and weaknesses. That’s what makes you unique. That’s what makes you human.

Why do you have to love someone to feel hurt or beaten down by them? You can do that to yourself too. The question is, do you want to? Because only after you feel hurt and destroyed, do you feel the greatness of anything that is love, happiness, gratefulness, and faith.

7 Signs You Should Invest In Life

Investing in your own professional career is phenomenal and so is investing in some material possession, but what are you doing today that counts as investment in your life? Is it something, but not enough?

Failing to invest in your life is by far the saddest mistake a human can ever make. You might be on the verge of some prodigious educational certification while keeping one eye on an amazing job opportunity that pays you galore. Unfortunately, along the way, something is lost because these things never truly define who you are and all it is, is a small aspect of your life in terms of what you do every day. I find it extremely turning on to own a human quality to feel emotions, comprehend other people’s emotion, although not so precisely. The ability to empathize may come as demanding to you, but that’s one human quality that lays the foundation of merely investing in life and harnessing that inner zest that all of us have. Empathizing is awakening, and it lets you imagine some result before it has even happened, it also makes you able to find general aspects of life such as success, failure, isolation, happiness, depression, and all the positive and negative pleasures a human can feel in a set of moods. Even though you’ve never felt isolated in your life that you have invested in your life as a priority can transform how you shape your life up to the moment when you don’t ever have to feel that isolation, ever. That’s empathy; being able to find yourself with a sort of human condition that you know you’re much capable of experiencing sooner or later. Investing in your life is much like the common saying that time heals many scars, if not completely erases and with time you understand many things in life about love, family, faith, purpose, and death, but those things that time can’t solve, you have to yourself. Now, the latter part of that phrase about solving a problem when time can’t is termed as investing in life when time falls short.

It all begins and ends in your mind, stuff like what you give power to and what has power over you, but below are the 7 signs that convey what time can’t solve, instead, it’s only your mind and your decision to invest in life that can solve it, to be zoetic in life, no matter what.

Consider these beginning as “You should (better yet, NEED TO!) invest in life….”

When You Can’t Let Go.

Some people get so lost because they’re so engrossed in things outside their own shells that they forget who they are and what it was like to be themselves. You will only find the ability to invest in life if you let go of certain experiences. Let go of your past because it has nothing on you anymore. Let go of those people who don’t make you think, make you feel something and with whom you can be your true self. Let go of the race you’re trying to win day after day and finally, let go of yourself and experience feelings of hope and love. When you discover one door, don’t ground yourself to it, keep searching for more because every experience is a new door to a different world. By not letting go, you’re only making yourself panic by over-thinking or obsessing over a situation that in reality isn’t as bad as it seems. Let go of those things that do not make you better each day. Hold on to those things that make you more of who you are, not any less. Don’t be convinced to hold on to a destination when you’re already so far from where you used to be. And if you can’t let go for the journey, have countless destinations to go to.

When You Expect Too Much.

The worst thing you can do to yourself is to bind yourself to someone or something that has the power to destroy you, only if you allow it. Just let go. Let go of those chains holding you back. Those chains are made by you, and only you can destroy them and break free. They’re made out of expectations that you can’t control. Period. How can you control something that you can’t because that’s not the force of nature? Expecting something out of a person won’t matter to him or her as much as it would to you. You just want everyone around you to be like you are or maybe act the way one should, but life is not textbook and everyone has a different way of life. When different truths collide into each other, one of the two things may happen: one, you may create the world with innumerable opportunities and evolve as one or you destroy both worlds. When you let yourself expect too much you can’t breathe, you can’t live and finally, you can’t love anything anymore. So, don’t force yourself to create a product out of people or things that you want in your life. Appreciate things as they are and if you can’t then let them go.

 When You Consistently Make Wrong Decisions.

We give ourselves into too many decisions only to come out with just a few right ones that have made sense in our lives. But as for the wrong decisions, there’s exists meaning in only those that we’ve learned from and have never made again, but what about those circumstances when we don’t get to make the same decision twice? That’s where knowledge comes in. That’s where we have to not only know what we want to do, but also exercise it. Making wrong decisions is inevitable because you can’t be right all the time, but if you’re consistently making wrong decisions that are hurting you and those around you, that means you’re not investing in life when it’s required. We may have many intellections about how life works and failures are just a skipping-stone to something much great, which is absolutely true, but certain things in life don’t grant a second chance and those things can either make or break you. The only way to make those wrong decisions right is by broadening your mind to new experiences and knowledge. I believe that in life one experience leads to another, which is why learning something new every day has finally lead up to a moment where I’m making the right decisions that I know I don’t have a second chance at and I’m making the wrong decisions where there was nothing I could have done otherwise. Making wrong decisions in life while you’re learning might be useful to you someday, but making wrong decisions even though knowing that what’s right is not useful, it’s hurtful to you and to others around you.

 When You Concentrate On The Negatives Each Time Something Bad Happens.

If you don’t find the light in the darkness, you have to invest in it by creating it. All of life’s chaos, distress, anger, and isolation has, is and always will be in that thing that sitting snugly inside your shell: your mind. It’s rooted in us to believe, plan for and be convinced of something that just as easily can be erased as quickly as it was understood to start with. Just like there are two sides to every story, people are susceptible of listening to only one side and believing it to be their only truth or their only darkness. If you concentrate on the negatives each time something bad happens, you should invest in life immensely, otherwise, what’s the point in thinking even about the bad at all? The exhaustion of thinking deep into the negatives all the time is the same as thinking your way out of a bad situation and looking at the positive; the energy is all the same. Life is a series of thousands of moments that will be both good and bad, the answer is to notice them, and not label them. You’re no magnet. If bad things happen to you all the time, it doesn’t mean that they always will. Maybe you’re looking at it all wrong. Just maybe, if you shift your gaze from the darkness a bit, you might see something good to build from when bad things happen. That’s courage and that’s hope. Never sacrifice those for anything else!

 When You Don’t Respect Your Own Body.

Over the past few years and more, we have forgotten the true meaning of love and have instead attached it to the feeling of tenderness we have for somebody outside of us, another human being; which is merely a small measure of love. You must have read this so many times that if you don’t love yourself you are not capable of loving anybody else in the purest and most real form, ever. We think this means that one should be successful, have lots of money, lots of friends or something along those lines to be capable of love, but that’s completely untrue. As with life, we are earned to develop into those benchmarks just like loving your own body is earned, not something you are obligated to feel since birth. That’s why when love is earned and not distributed to us, we feel more passionate and frankly, the love feels more natural and desirous. This love is for your own body when you willingly choose to respect it, look after it and not rely on certain aggressive factors to give you pleasures in small doses. Living a healthy life means living a productive, fresh and thriving life and if you can’t live one completely try making small efforts every day to see the change in your yourself.

For this, you don’t have to quit food that’s labeled unhealthy drastically and forever and hit the gym to shed some pounds so that you look healthy and toned all the time! Moderation is the key, and so is simplicity. You don’t have to prove to your body that you love and respect it; all you should do is invest time and effort to balance your life in a way that it will thank you for it in the future.

 When You Fear You’re Not Good Enough.

A single moment of uselessness can mean so many things. If you feel you’re not doing enough in the day, you’re not working hard enough to make money, and you’re not good enough for somebody or something you want, you need to gain more understanding about life and how unique it is for every human being alive. It’s self-destructing to fear that you’re not good enough, turns out you won’t ever be, so does that mean you’d rather stop trying? The answer here is to truly empathize with the meaning of life which is to live through, no matter what. The answer here is to destroy your idea of perfection, goodness, and happiness and build what you got with all you got only to keep riding out the rest of your life’s journey until you eventually succumb to the inevitable, death. It is in the moments of understanding that being good at something or for something is merely a slice in your life, it doesn’t mean everything and it doesn’t even have to. Even if you’re not good at something, believe that you can become good. That’s where you build your own path to invest in life before anything else.When You Don’t Believe In The Person You Want To Become Anymore.

 When You Don’t Believe In The Person You Want To Become Anymore.

We create an ideal version of ourselves who we want to become some years down the road, and while some discard such a vision saying that it can butcher a person’s present self-making her more frustrated and dissatisfied in life, I truly place confidence in the person I want to become tomorrow. That way I create myself all over again staying who I am today. For me, direction is so much more important than speed and that is why I never stop believing in the person I want to become tomorrow. It keeps me going on different lengths, gives me the courage to take new turns and stop when I need to calm down from all the hustling. I feel that there are not one, but many facets of your own person that you can believe to become one day and as you learn more, you realize how you’ve unintentionally designed a great life for yourself. Be convinced to believe in the person you want to become because that’s why we’re living and that’s what is going to stick with you for the rest of your life. Make a promise to yourself that you will always work to be good, humble and a better reflection than tomorrow. Thank your past for all the lessons and keep faith in the future like you’re always ready for it. That’s how you invest in life.

 

 

 

 

Reasons why you aren’t confident and the ONE REASON why you are.

We always look for reasons to stress on the negative or unfavorable aspects in our lives: we’re pessimists by day and night, but we still believe that there is good to fight for (with yourself) in this world. And that is one of our greatest assets. We have our reasons to killjoy positivity, even for a second, but we have mastered the art of ‘getting-it-together’ brilliantly. And to have like a multiple reasons that lead to your lack of self confidence written on a piece of paper, or published in an article: is both reassuring that you have them and supporting because you know you’re not the only one on the field.

We have our reasons to killjoy positivity, even for a second, but we have mastered the art of ‘getting-it-together’ brilliantly. And to have like a multiple reasons that lead to your lack of self confidence written on a piece of paper, or published in an article: is both reassuring that you have them and supporting because you know you’re not the only one on the field.

Now, remember, all these are not relevant for one individual; these are spanned across different situations and under various lifestyles. You can either find one or five reasons that you relate to out of all that are mentioned below. I hope you don’t feel all of them to be relevant to you. I hope.

Reasons for your lack of self confidence:

  1. Thinking in a different manner than other people [you know].

  2. Choosing to walk on a distinct path than the rest of your peers, family members, etc.

  3. Being aware of the known fact that people gossip or talk about you behind your back.

  4. Age difference [spending time with someone who is either too elder or younger than you].

  5. Meditating a simple life.

  6. Repeating the same daily schedule again and again, every day.

  7. Sexual preference.

  8. Lack of knowledge about certain issues, general facts, etc.

  9. Knowing it all.

  10. Lack of social interaction.

  11. Failing to achieve a standing (or stature) at something after preparing hard for it.

  12. Comparing your financial and social soundness with peers, family members, etc.

  13. Choosing an unexampled career path.

  14. Failing to achieve some professional abilities due to any personal or circumstantial reason.

  15. Believing that ignorant behavior is greatly culled during incidental events [personal or otherwise].

  16. Being unable to cope with change at any given time.

  17. Not willing to adapt or grow in the sense of interests of/for other people.

  18. Not willing to accept other peoples judgements and remarks. And taking them at heart.

  19. Bearing a damaging childhood/past.

  20. Failing at a test that others have so effortlessly passed.

  21. Having parents that you do not have a good connection with.

  22. Being misunderstood by people most of the time.

  23. Failing to change a certain aspect about yourself [or your life] after several painstaking efforts.

  24. Comparing physical appearance with somebody else.

  25. Religious differences.

  26. Getting divided attention by somebody you prefer/love/enjoy most with.

  27. Not being able to stay fit and happy by yourself.

  28. Surrendering to activities and beliefs you once cherished due to any reason.

  29. Not being able to comprehend and handle your emotional and physical needs.

  30. Not being sexually experimental with your partner.

  31. Not being patient enough for the life that you always dreamed of.

  32. Not being able to provide for someone you love or are responsible for.

  33. Not being able to cope with stress as you intended.

  34. Comparing yourself [your life, ambitions, money, everything] with your elder or younger siblings or close ones.

  35. Believing in occupational inferiority/superiority.

  36. Having an unsteady educational history.

I’m tolerably sure that these must be lone 36 reasons out of a 100 because these are not facts, but just mental reasons that are conceived or imagined by us. But, nevertheless, these are the primary standpoints of low confidence or self-esteem that we pick up on.

 Now, what?

 I’ll sum up all the awesome reasons of kick low self confidence [and esteem] in the butt with one reason. This reason beats all those I’ve mentioned above and many others that you might have for yourself.

  1. You’re different and be proud of it. Not everyone chooses the same things; failure is a process, not a ruination. And finally, confidence is not having to give a care about any of that because you realize what your strengths and weaknesses are along the way and beat this: you are born alone and you die alone. Be unique and grateful and you’ll always will be you.

 

Endure a life and a death

In the end, we all die. We die inevitably as equals without discrimination and power. We die for the life we lived, no matter the years we have lived for. Life is the filling of death and vice versa; it doesn’t exist so that the other is temporarily defeated in a way that we feel at ease when we don’t have to burden both of the realities, life and death, together, on our shoulders. Life is the ultimate definition of death and death is of life. Without a reality as fearsome and strong as death, life would have not been lived as it is now, by us! Without a reality as beautiful and simple as life, death would have not been the farewell of the end. So, as you see, we aren’t here to choose life or death each day; we aren’t here to decide our faith in both of them; and we aren’t here to plan our life or our death to live a monotonous human-life and to surrender foolishly to death. God has given us life and only God will give us death. The choice that is left with us is as simple as our creation- when life is given to us, we should accept it with gratitude and live wisely and whole-heartedly; and when death is before us, we should accept it with weightiness and happiness as that is why we have been created for. Life is made short by effort, so we should not be quick in our actions and responsibilities; and death is made painful by effort, so we should not fear oblivion. To endure the ability to accept what is before us is to endure a peaceful life and a peaceful death.

To endure a life and a death is simple yet extremely difficult. It requires knowledge and patience; knowledge that of a noble and wise soul, who understands people and their sentiments towards existence and duty; and the patience to believe in the gravity of that knowledge. Knowledge isn’t written in scripture; knowledge is as pure as driven snow, learnt only by those who possess the desire to not live in denial any-longer. We have lived to die and in the end, we die for the life we have lived. Without true knowledge, life and death would be frittered by us. And there will come a time when we will feel sheer guilt and regret for not understanding the purist purpose of our lives when knowledge was offered to us, as true knowledge is omnipresent. To endure wisdom is to endure a complete life and a complete death.

Beauty is misunderstood today. Beauty is not just physiognomy and demeanor; it is beyond the beauty of our minds, it’s the creation of our soul and how we, as individuals, have chosen to build it. Beauty is everywhere and those who perceive it, speculate on it and use it are one of humanity’s purist creations. Beauty is inevitable, it is a gift of mind, soul and body; we are products of this gift, so lucky to have been created to live out of this, in a world so chaotic and manifold, that we choose to be who we are everyday. This choice is ours and will be forever; as beauty was a gift to us, this choice is a gift for the world as we cater ourselves to it. So, as beauty is as delicate as a feather, we should design it with thought and sensibility. We shouldn’t let ourselves be taken advantage of this gift in a way that would misfortune the purity of our lives. We shouldn’t become an example of prejudice and hatred in our own eyes. We should live each day with patience, if not happiness; and gratitude, if no wealth. Always remember that beauty is not what others see in us, it is that vision we see in ourselves. To endure beauty in living is to endure a good life and a good death.