Hope in A World Without Sensibility

Hope in a world without sensibility is much like a world lacking the ability to change attitudes toward people, things, and experiences.

Considering how human relationships evolve or limit or furnish what is known and what is not, hope is a dangerous word to believe in without giving it any conscious thought. So what if the balance of hope and sensibility becomes one of the most enduring ideas of living? And in moments of meditation, its breakthrough leads one within one’s own mind and not without. 

How did we end up being so conflicted with hope and so intrepid with everything that defeats the purpose of it? It’s because we thought we’re born with sensibility and that it doesn’t require constant rehearsing. Journeying through childhood into adulthood is an emotional and physiological roller-coaster for everyone. One that offers no validation and forethought. The very fact that it leads us to inevitable phases of critical self-evaluation, which causes what most people refer to as a “frame of mind,” strikes me as a philosophy that is often side-stepped in the initial stages of the loss of hope without sensibility.

I do not mistake hope for anything else. Hope- without the sense of being present in the moment, with looking forward to pleasures so much you completely fail to enjoy the experience of it, and without the understanding of thought and the implementation of it – is, to me, the definition of its destruction. This is the main problem. With people and ideas and relationships with people, experiences, and things. Hoping has become as essential as breathing. What it is, has almost been forgotten for who we are and what we want to be. And here is its meaning- it’s nothing. It’s a void without the presence of fear. It’s not an escape. But it’s a routine. A routine to hope, regardless of what is available to you and what you have to (or want to) work for.

But since when did routine become unfavorable? Have we become so naive to think that routine isn’t a part of our “getting out of the comfort zone” fetish? That we constantly strive and desire and insist to reach. The fact that we do things to challenge routine is, in itself, a routine we’re so afraid of accepting. So hope is just like a routine that we have tried to and will continue to try to challenge, along with all our existing preconceived routines.

While this exists without sensibility. What is hope with it? While I do not know the definition of what it really is, I do know what the definition is deprived of. And that is obligation. Hope with sensibility is when I’m on my own. Essentially, I decide how I feel when I’m supposed to feel about something. That can be anything. Being hopeful about a new passion project, a new book, a new hobby, a vacation, or about writing itself. Hope comes in many forms, so many that it exists as an infinite loop which repeats itself in moments of solitude and the understanding of my existence and the brevity of it.

The difference between sensibility and the absence of it feeds my ability to have a vision. To remain perceptive of not just my own, but other people’s emotions, intelligence, wit, judgment, and presence. After all, aren’t I the only existing finality of my own sensations, insight, and discernment that I take so seriously- and that which keeps purposely growing every day through thought and action?

Why To Undo A Thought From Your Life?

The most courageous people on earth are those who have realized, felt, and accepted their truth, no matter how unpredictable and exhausting. To inhabit a world filled with people, idea, dreams, and material dynamism, a single soul left in sight can still feel lonely and indifferent after exposed to the complexities of life. As a mind brimming with infinite thoughts, we’ve been handed out the power to focus on one thought, one feeling, and one emotion all in a second. The forced experiences of joy, laughter, and relief are as spiritless as negative thoughts of rejection, loneliness, and fear. And trying to weave the focused flow of parallel understanding of many, as we do, we identify something that ceases to obliterate us out our senses. It is with us at the present minute, it will be so long you inhabit it as your ordinary romance. Certainly, there’s something we can do, within each of us, to either create a third self out of exhaustion or accept the ordinary for what it is until we feel nothing. But to let that happen, out of time and space, we must understand why a thought must be destroyed, not by dismissing its existence completely or naming false its intention. Why to undo a thought must we reclaim its honesty, integrity, and hope before we get rid of it completely. Are you then lifted from sense of self-worth to a fraction of thought where nothing is more or less exact, but it’s only clear to grasp? You hope to not daydream, but you still do. You hope to not expect from expectations of yourself, but you still do. So, if you can’t change those aspects of your life to undo a thought, why must you do this? The narration of how ordinary life is, how ordinary you are, and how ordinary your thought is is what makes the world go round.

Thoughts of all kinds have set priorities between faith, uncertainty, and ambition, so for all adventure of life to come to an end, an artist must consume to know what it is all about. Questions about ‘why me?’, ‘how does it make me feel?’, ‘why now?’, ‘when will it all end?’ are all mind-boggling, but that’s what a person does to prepare to be separated from the whole of life. So, the science of thought is good to know when you are certain it won’t last forever. Otherwise, it’s a routine, then a habit, and then your destruction. Among the great mysteries, wanting to eliminate negative thinking is socialistic, but barely touched upon.

Techniques that squeeze us out from the realms of negative thoughts are entirely life-changing if you think about it. But, to start from somewhere, we always find ourselves on the edge of something completely contradictory, then unpredictable. Repetition of positivity can work, and it does unless you’re exhausted of controlling your mind. Being grateful is rewarding, like the first smell of rain, but you always, somehow, grow to the normal life agenda that human spirit copes for as long as you’re at the extreme of something. When humans confronted this idea of acceptance, fear of feeling something was on the cusp of the essence. The impression that we must feel completely only to vaporize a thought isn’t the ‘easy way out’, but again what is easy when in the absence of difficult?

As you come closer and closer to the awakening, your openhearted curiosity puzzles your state of mind. You limit yourself to music, nature, books, and mindful conversations to learn to be more careful yet composed of the dependency. You speak openly, you laugh out loud, and you believe dauntlessly, but somehow you’re becoming more and more of that thought. In the face of that situation, you can not ask yourself the ‘how’, but instead find a quiet pathway through the ‘why’ of destroying a thought from your life. That’s your rescuing you set yourself up to need. And that is what will keep us from within ourselves.

What Feminism Is Not For Me

Maybe you have been “told” by others what feminism means for you, individually, or maybe you’ve “seen” some short-lived video of what feminism means for both women and men today. But how is that going to make any difference if you’re still fastened to the mediocre remarks made by both men and women, especially youngsters, about how women MUST be treated equally and how they MUST be looked at differently in the eyes of men, and even society.

Given today’s influence of social media among Facebook or Instagram scrollers, feminism has become a kind of temperament for some women rather than a strong mindset. It has become a weapon for some, while it remains a wave of embarrassing confusion or assumptions for some who are ignorant enough to make up their own “idea” of feminists and debunk the entire realistic concept of it.

Suppression of a concept such as sexism or the mere slaughtering of it by means of completely untrue and contradictory feministic terms is disgusting and frankly, discomforting. We have been told what feminism is, but when do we learn about the truths that don’t make feminism. What feminism isn’t is something that I haven’t been exposed to, if I were to compare it against the versatile articles I’ve come across written by feminists about what feminism is for every human, on an individual level.

If you’re reading this, I request you to make a quick list of what feminism is not, for you and why. This should be done, obviously, after you know the transparency of the concept and its concise definition that frames the society.

WHAT FEMINISM IS NOT FOR ME

  1. It is not ignoring the way men are treated in society:

    We have heard this chant a lot. People think that being a feminist means that you disregard male oppression and only focus on female abuse and issues circling around it. For me, feminism is not just talking about prostitution or rape in the eyes of how women are abused and tortured. When I speak about important and worldly issues that involve the use of bodies as acts of suppression or exploitation, I refer to all men and women. Yes, a majority of them are women, but supporting only one side of the argument means that you don’t care enough about the global consequence of the matter, rather you’re being sexist yourself.

  2. It is not hating men.

    Feminism doesn’t mean hating men. That’s called misandrists. Instead, if we focused on equality of all genders rather than equality of women, we know what’s going on and why. Misandrists hate all men. It is a term like misogynist, but for hating men instead of women. And frankly, as a feminist, hate is a strong word because what good are you doing by hating somebody for what they believe in when feminism is about changing the way people think in the society by means of action and reaction. Women are beautiful when they’re angry, but don’t do it for the wrong reasons.

  3. It is not blaming every man with a “dick” because of certain deceiving men.

    If you think all men want to get into your pants, you’re wrong. But if you only meet men who want to get into your pants, I believe you. But how would you feel if you meet a man who thinks all women are emotionally overpowered just because he met only such? Categorizing the entire human race on a bunch of good-for-nothings, then you truly don’t believe in anything.

  4. It is not making it a “woman’s world”.

    I’m so sick of hearing this. When women get offended by “It’s A Man’s World”, how is that any different when they say that it’s time to make it into a “Woman’s World” through feminism. I thought you were a feminist, not an extremist. What matters the most when you filter the concept of feminism to its absolute definition, is that it is about gender equality and not gender dominance. Don’t make the fact that you’re a woman a weapon to impose upon men everywhere.

  5. It is not about being physically violent with men just because they’re women.

    You want gender equality or do you want men to obey you? We see this now more than ever. Women want to be excused whenever they hit a man. Why? Because we’re women and hitting us would mean sexism. All I’m trying to say is that if we want to be treated equally then we should be willing to accept the entire picture. We won’t let women get away with hitting men in the name of feminism because that’s not what this is all about. For this point, I must say that feminism is discouraging one human to hit another, regardless of their gender.

  6. It is not about showing your bra strap.

    Saying that public display of any kind of clothing is a sure-fire act of feminism, at least in some cases, is disgusting. Both men and women are mouthed off about the kind of clothes they wear. When men wear extremely short shorts, aren’t they laughed at or told that they should wear something more mannerly? It’s the fashion that certain people want to suppress, not sexism. It’s a perception, not a concept. Don’t make something as little as showing your bra strap in public a matter of feminism because it would only make sense if men, too, wore bras and they were not questioned for showing the strap in public.

  7. It is not about perceiving women who do not want to work as being sexists.

    I do want women to work and become independent, but that’s not something that I would express in the name of feminism. Telling women that it’s unacceptable to become a housewife or mother, just because you might not want those things, is ridiculous. Do not label that as being a feminist in any aspect.

  8. It is not about male restriction.

    I know a few women who have been subjected to social or financial restrictions by the men in their lives. Some women do that too, mainly mothers or sisters, but mostly it’s a man who imposes restrictions upon a woman on matters of dressing, social interaction, work life, etc. That doesn’t mean feminist get to impose those same restrictions on men just to prove that they’re equal. The feminist path is to change the perception of having no restrictions at all on another human being, man or woman.

 

These are just the basic and, most often, misunderstood definitions of feminism. Frankly, feminism is a life-changing and revolutionary idea, something that both men and women have to encourage and promote in their lives, but some pillars have been disgracefully manipulated by those pretending to support it in a way that it benefits their individual convenience and comfort.

Being a feminist is hard for every woman because it calls for equality, not dominance. Being a dominant soul is an effortless act, and it doesn’t require courage or intelligence. It calls for insecurity or extremism. Don’t be a dominant soul and learn to be open to gender equality.

If tomorrow you’re riding the bus to work, don’t feel insulted if a man doesn’t willingly get up to let you sit on his seat. You don’t own that seat and unless you’re physically disabled, you shouldn’t be sitting on it just because you’re a feminist.

Stop Complaining & Do This on Second Thought

As long as our tomorrow is unpredictable, we may as well destroy our thoughts today by complaining.

Fenced in by how different lives matter today, I’ve identified a serious dilemma and it’s called COMPLAINING. While complaining can mean many things like protesting, disapproving, and even objecting, what I’m referring to is specifically whining and weeping. Two extremely strong words for a qualification to human indiscretion.

“If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.”

– Maya Angelou

One of the things that we hide the most is how we’re so efficiently throwing ourselves over the fence, time and again, to get easily affected by the little things that we do in our lives. Those little things constitute the daily flow of our lives, no matter what we practice and how we preach. Perhaps because we’re constantly surrounded by things that can be measured in terms of happiness, satisfaction, and pleasure, since birth, is why it’s hardwired in us to complain about certain “regulars”. Or it could also be that we know what’s better and how for us to no longer appreciate anything less than that. I find it unwise and simply a waste-of-time to have an opinion of every single aspect of my life, from what I ate for lunch yesterday to the number of books I read this month as opposed to the 4 I read a month before. The fact is that we know better and we always will. But it’s what lies in-between that’s so screwed up. It’s that simple jolt of things that could have been better, but they apparently aren’t.

 

Is that reason enough to complain?

 

There is a fine line between what is and what isn’t, between what was and what is, or between what’s seen and what’s understood.  That fine line is called acceptance. It’s the belief in the simple goodness of something. The first step to acceptance is silence. And I mean strictly mean this in a self-improvement essence of compromise. Just by remaining silent and analyzing your thoughts the minute you’re exposed to something that you’d rather want to be replaced to better is the key to accepting and then change, instead of just complaining about it again and again. And this really helps. I sometimes find myself complaining about silly and petty things so many times in a single day that if I had someone over my head for evaluation, I’d rank as an ungrateful bore.

Then one day I asked myself this question: Would my complaining about this (silly thing) bring me any satisfaction? If I could express my answer in an Emoji, it would be the Zippered Mouth Face. And I’d probably be giving myself the Rolling Eyes face just about then.  It’s a negative vibe. There’s nothing worse than doing yourself one of those negative vibes so much that it spreads like a viral disease. Everyone around you has to deal with your complaining habit. They have to live with it and if they have a chance, they’ll definitely run away from you. Honestly, it’s textbook to not complain, but we know that the struggle of life is real and it’s overwhelming, which is why we complain about petty things so much and so often.

It’s time to stop that. No more complaining. We can do this on second thought.

The next time you hear yourself complaining about something that is clearly an insignificant aspect of your life, like food. You hear yourself rambling on, time and again, that you dislike the food you usually eat. It’s too sweet. It’s too sour. It’s too bland. It’s whatever. You consistently find yourself picking out some or the other fault in the food, out loud and more often than often itself- it’s time you made peace with that. And if you can’t, then change it.

“As long as our tomorrow is unpredictable, we may as well destroy our thoughts today by complaining.”

-Ayesha Dhurue

Contribute to the process of what’s making you complain so much. I’m sure you can. If not change that particular aspect of your life, then change your attitude towards it. Tell me if I’m wrong, but you forget the difference between the world and you when you constantly make the world fit according to your standards that can sometimes be senseless when you should actually be making yourself better and stronger in this world. Every individual has his or her own world, own perspective, own ideals, own beliefs, etc. But the catch here is the willingness to change something if you don’t like it, and if you can’t change it then change your world for it.

Habits can become a constant reminder of the unknown. It’s the point you reach when it becomes what you are and what you expect yourself to become in the future. I have a habit of writing for myself, so I write. And after months and months of doing that, I am a writer.

This same theory fairs brilliantly with complaining. If I complain regularly about anything, there will come a point where I might become a complainer for a world full of everything. Let go of that habit. It’s destroying your sense of belonging. If you constantly weep and not change, you’ll belong nowhere. You can only lose what you never had. I read this somewhere and it makes so much sense. You’re gaining so much every single day so be grateful for it. Gratefulness and complaining are magnets and not the friendly kind. The alleged stupidity of complaining is the only symptom of not accepting yourself in this world. It goes beyond that what’s out there. Complaining is a trait for the inner state-of-mind. It’s when a person is disconnected with his own mind. And that’s what makes him a frustrated and bothered individual.

To stop complaining and find a better path in life, stay silent for a minute and find your peace of mind when you’re accepting a situation for what it is. If you can’t change, all of this world will be a faultfinding domain for you. And if something can’t change, no matter how hard you try, your pursuits will limit themselves into believing that your life is a clear reflection of those things you constantly complain about.

Enough is Enough

I can’t say this enough and I won’t even stop.

At an indefinite time in your life, you’ll come across a person, an entity, who is either like you or not. This new experience will teach you new things, it will open new doors and you’ll grasp acceptance and recognition of things you never thought were actual in reality. They just seemed like distant possibilities to you or maybe you weren’t open to new ideas and life-altering reversals. So, what changed? That person. That entity changed the way you thought you thought about certain things or basically life in general. This person can be anyone: your family member, a close friend, a lover, or just a random stranger you happen to converse with one fine day.

Now, you’ve been unlocked. Your feelings, perceptions, and life stories have become a real thing between what’s left between you and that person.

What’s next?

What are you going to talk about tomorrow or the day after tomorrow?

The next step is going to be an attachment. It’s going to be boldness stuck together with freedom of expression. That’s easy, right? In the end, you just have to want to speak to someone and exchange sentences about the different masks this world gives birth to at one corner and wears on another. It’s your way of life up against that person’s, although not in a competitive, but comparative manner. No matter how we stand up for ourselves and no matter how many like-minded and poles-apart kind of people we encounter, we are all scrutinizing morons. We’re deep in thoughts and meaning, that we forge reflections and precedents of how we are when we meet someone new. We compare. We become experts of humanity. We judge. And finally, we have “vibes”.

You know what.

Screw those vibes. Those vibes are shitty and you know it.

Enough is enough. As deep in thought as we think we are, we’re a bunch of stupid-headed, easily-manipulated humans who just don’t get it. Emotions have always been a kind gift during good times and an ignorant burden during troubling times. Still, we fail to understand it. Do you get what I’m talking about now? I think you do. But I’m not sure that you do. Let me just say it.

Stop comparing humans with humans, life experiences with life experiences, and more importantly, stop comparing two exact same entities in a magnified state. It didn’t do you good yesterday. It won’t tomorrow. It won’t help you grow.

Now, you’d expect me to say something like ‘what isn’t helping you, is destroying you’. But I won’t say that because why does everything that we do have to either be good or bad for us to understand its purpose in our life? Comparing doesn’t serve any useful purpose. Enough is a limit that comparison doesn’t understand and once you begin to concern yourself with how your chapter turned out in relation to somebody else’s, and this is somebody you know, not somebody you follow on social media, you’ll soon forget the meaning of “self” and focus on how to make others happy and satisfied.

Once there was a small girl, she thought she wasn’t pretty and didn’t acquire much educational support because she came from a poor and bedridden family. Now, this wasn’t going to stop her from meeting classmates that lived a life very different than hers, and she never, for a second, compared the way she lived with those around her.

You know why?

Because she wasn’t taught to. She wasn’t manipulated by shiny objects and big degrees because she wasn’t taught to. The only thing her parents did right by not teaching her anything was that they never taught her to hate herself. And neither did they teach her the right things because as soon as she grew into the art of making new friends and bonding, she soon began to compare her day with that of her not-so-poor, but not completely rich friends. What that one close friend of hers did on Tuesday morning was closely compared to how she spent hers. The little things like going to the park, watching a movie, eating candy, and acquiring new notebooks for study was held in intimate inspection by this small girl, and through no fault of her own, time passed relentlessly. Without her even realizing it, this mere trait in her left a mark so deep and so ever-lasting that she missed out on so many opportunities and experiences that otherwise might have helped her reach her goals in a more productive way. But she didn’t quite mind the struggle. It wasn’t going to destroy her. She knew it controlled her actions, but she understood that that’s the one thing in her life that’s not changing regardless, so when something doesn’t do harm, why bother changing it, right?

After many such years, this small girl became a woman in her thirties. She had sufficient money to live her kind of life. She lived happily. And worked and made her stand with all her heart, but something felt amiss. Not for her, but for the way she saw things around her. It felt like the curtains were half open, but the point was to breathe and so she did with what she built for herself, but that’s not the purpose of humanity. We aren’t supposed to breathe from inside a box just because it’s sufficient, we’re supposed to break free and strive for depth, when we can. But we choose not to. Yes, there’s a difference.

A huge difference. I’ll talk about that later, someday.

The moral of this short story was that there will be many things that you do and feel that might not affect you now or ever, but they hold no meaning. Get rid of those things. They don’t matter because they hold no value. They’re empty. They’re nothing. Why should you possess such a boring manner when you’re already achieving greater things in life? If you think you’re fearless to conquer that what sets your soul on fire, then why should you waste your time even remotely contemplating on something that’s got nothing on you?

Comparing is a power. For some, it’s dominant. For some, it’s submissive. I don’t believe in labeling and neither do I in the classification of everything, so if and when, for me, comparing is neither of two- still I’ll work my strength off to fight away its existence.

Enough is enough. And honestly, you’ve already had and won’t stop having enough in life. Why should you complicate when you can just let the daylight in?