You Are Nothing Until You Begin Again

The discovery that wanting to write is not the same as being perceptive of words.

You should know that I fumbled for a good 10 minutes finding the right words to suit the idea of this article. It’s certainly not easy to write when you’re struggling with stress and anxiety. Navigating the world of well-deciphered sentences alongside the scare of being labeled uninspired is challenging. But in hindsight, this fear bodes well with the objective of wanting to write and participating in the spectacle of poetic grammar that I’m so passionately fond of.

I must have written less than 50 articles, for myself, in my 21 years of living. Maybe 20 or 30. Even though I write more than my fair share as a freelance content writer, I never once understood the urge to keep on writing, for myself, daily. When the words came to me, I set out to either type my thoughts down on a blank document staring right through my fears or handwrite a scribbled and haphazard draft in a notebook. Saying it wasn’t easy for me to do this daily might sound like I’m defeating the entire purpose of wanting to write in the first place. However, it wasn’t simple. At the time, when I just started writing for myself, I was torn between my ability to write and my ability to think clearly.

How the grief and frustration in my life taught me to stop and take a breather, it also hampered with my crispness in translation and focus in execution. On most days, it interrupted my reflective state, while on some days I felt well-absorbed in my frame of mind to compose. The constant struggle emptied out all my thoughtful thoughts and weakened my sense of perceptiveness, not in understanding, but for the translation of thoughts on paper or in print.

To write, to read, and to create is necessary. All else is distraction.

In the midst of struggling with such deep feelings and emotions, I rarely composed articles that met my expectations. And when I did write such a piece, I sighed in relief and was well-pleased with my efforts in doing so. But that rush of positivity lasted for a short time bringing back the guilt of an unfinished goal. Until weeks later I decided to pen down another. This cycle kept persevering for months on end, and a result I failed to write even a single article in 2017. That was the epitome of me “letting go.” Which, to my surprise, wasn’t how I anticipated it would be.

Such regrets can destroy your self-esteem in ways you wouldn’t imagine. If not controlled, they culminate in inhibitions that eventually start showing face in every aspect of your life only because they’re weakening your ability to write anything. As much as I expected myself to defeat these inhibitions, the solution was to eventually outrun them. And so I’m trying. Instead of spending a long time on the things that I thought really mattered to me, I vow to spend time on things that could. It’s a tough road, but a necessary one. By disconnecting and destroying my past practices, I’m redefining what creation is and meant for.

One of Graham Greene’s quotes come to mind,

“Destruction is a form of creation.”

If you’ve seen Donnie Darko, it’s hard to miss the moment when Donnie says this in a classroom full of young cynics.

My hope may not be to live a better life, but to value self-reflection and to unblur the blurred subject of mind expansion so it’s possible for an ordinary person like me to choose to create something out of the ordinary. I do hope, however, to understand the tricks to outrun restraint and beat the hollowness that comes with feeling inadequate at the recognition of words that have the power to compose the greatest stories. And this is the beginning of the stories I can give you. It is my beginning.

“You are nothing until you decide, over and over, that you must begin again.”

Hope in A World Without Sensibility

Hope in a world without sensibility is much like a world lacking the ability to change attitudes toward people, things, and experiences.

Considering how human relationships evolve or limit or furnish what is known and what is not, hope is a dangerous word to believe in without giving it any conscious thought. So what if the balance of hope and sensibility becomes one of the most enduring ideas of living? And in moments of meditation, its breakthrough leads one within one’s own mind and not without. 

How did we end up being so conflicted with hope and so intrepid with everything that defeats the purpose of it? It’s because we thought we’re born with sensibility and that it doesn’t require constant rehearsing. Journeying through childhood into adulthood is an emotional and physiological roller-coaster for everyone. One that offers no validation and forethought. The very fact that it leads us to inevitable phases of critical self-evaluation, which causes what most people refer to as a “frame of mind,” strikes me as a philosophy that is often side-stepped in the initial stages of the loss of hope without sensibility.

I do not mistake hope for anything else. Hope- without the sense of being present in the moment, with looking forward to pleasures so much you completely fail to enjoy the experience of it, and without the understanding of thought and the implementation of it – is, to me, the definition of its destruction. This is the main problem. With people and ideas and relationships with people, experiences, and things. Hoping has become as essential as breathing. What it is, has almost been forgotten for who we are and what we want to be. And here is its meaning- it’s nothing. It’s a void without the presence of fear. It’s not an escape. But it’s a routine. A routine to hope, regardless of what is available to you and what you have to (or want to) work for.

But since when did routine become unfavorable? Have we become so naive to think that routine isn’t a part of our “getting out of the comfort zone” fetish? That we constantly strive and desire and insist to reach. The fact that we do things to challenge routine is, in itself, a routine we’re so afraid of accepting. So hope is just like a routine that we have tried to and will continue to try to challenge, along with all our existing preconceived routines.

While this exists without sensibility. What is hope with it? While I do not know the definition of what it really is, I do know what the definition is deprived of. And that is obligation. Hope with sensibility is when I’m on my own. Essentially, I decide how I feel when I’m supposed to feel about something. That can be anything. Being hopeful about a new passion project, a new book, a new hobby, a vacation, or about writing itself. Hope comes in many forms, so many that it exists as an infinite loop which repeats itself in moments of solitude and the understanding of my existence and the brevity of it.

The difference between sensibility and the absence of it feeds my ability to have a vision. To remain perceptive of not just my own, but other people’s emotions, intelligence, wit, judgment, and presence. After all, aren’t I the only existing finality of my own sensations, insight, and discernment that I take so seriously- and that which keeps purposely growing every day through thought and action?

Before You Can Be with Others, First Learn to Be Alone

In 1840, Edgar Allan Poe described the ‘mad energy’ of an ageing man who roved the streets of London from dusk till dawn. His excruciating despair could be temporarily relieved only by immersing himself in a tumultuous throng of city-dwellers. ‘He refuses to be alone,’ Poe wrote. He ‘is the type and the genius of deep crime … He is the man of the crowd.’

Like many poets and philosophers through the ages, Poe stressed the significance of solitude. It was ‘such a great misfortune’, he thought, to lose the capacity to be alone with oneself, to get caught up in the crowd, to surrender one’s singularity to mind-numbing conformity. Two decades later, the idea of solitude captured Ralph Waldo Emerson’s imagination in a slightly different way: quoting Pythagoras, he wrote: ‘In the morning, – solitude; … that nature may speak to the imagination, as she does never in company.’ Emerson encouraged the wisest teachers to press upon their pupils the importance of ‘periods and habits of solitude’, habits that made ‘serious and abstracted thought’ possible.

In the 20th century, the idea of solitude formed the centre of Hannah Arendt’s thought. A German-Jewish émigré who fled Nazism and found refuge in the United States, Arendt spent much of her life studying the relationship between the individual and the polis. For her, freedom was tethered to both the private sphere – the vita contemplativa – and the public, political sphere – the vita activa. She understood that freedom entailed more than the human capacity to act spontaneously and creatively in public. It also entailed the capacity to think and to judge in private, where solitude empowers the individual to contemplate her actions and develop her conscience, to escape the cacophony of the crowd – to finally hear herself think.

In 1961, The New Yorker commissioned Arendt to cover the trial of Adolf Eichmann, a Nazi SS officer who helped to orchestrate the Holocaust. How could anyone, she wanted to know, perpetrate such evil? Surely only a wicked sociopath could participate in the Shoah. But Arendt was surprised by Eichmann’s lack of imagination, his consummate conventionality. She argued that while Eichmann’s actions were evil, Eichmann himself – the person – ‘was quite ordinary, commonplace, and neither demonic nor monstrous. There was no sign in him of firm ideological convictions.’ She attributed his immorality – his capacity, even his eagerness, to commit crimes – to his ‘thoughtlessness’. It was his inability to stop and think that permitted Eichmann to participate in mass murder.

Just as Poe suspected that something sinister lurked deep within the man of the crowd, Arendt recognised that: ‘A person who does not know that silent intercourse (in which we examine what we say and what we do) will not mind contradicting himself, and this means he will never be either able or willing to account for what he says or does; nor will he mind committing any crime, since he can count on its being forgotten the next moment.’ Eichmann had shunned Socratic self-reflection. He had failed to return home to himself, to a state of solitude. He had discarded the vita contemplativa, and thus he had failed to embark upon the essential question-and-answering process that would have allowed him to examine the meaning of things, to distinguish between fact and fiction, truth and falsehood, good and evil.

‘It is better to suffer wrong than to do wrong,’ Arendt wrote, ‘because you can remain the friend of the sufferer; who would want to be the friend of and have to live together with a murderer? Not even another murderer.’ It is not that unthinking men are monsters, that the sad sleepwalkers of the world would sooner commit murder than face themselves in solitude. What Eichmann showed Arendt was that society could function freely and democratically only if it were made up of individuals engaged in the thinking activity – an activity that required solitude. Arendt believed that ‘living together with others begins with living together with oneself’.

But what if, we might ask, we become lonely in our solitude? Isn’t there some danger that we will become isolated individuals, cut off from the pleasures of friendship? Philosophers have long made a careful, and important, distinction between solitude and loneliness. In The Republic (c380 BCE), Plato proffered a parable in which Socrates celebrates the solitary philosopher. In the allegory of the cave, the philosopher escapes from the darkness of an underground den – and from the company of other humans – into the sunlight of contemplative thought. Alone but not lonely, the philosopher becomes attuned to her inner self and the world. In solitude, the soundless dialogue ‘which the soul holds with herself’ finally becomes audible.

Echoing Plato, Arendt observed: ‘Thinking, existentially speaking, is a solitary but not a lonely business; solitude is that human situation in which I keep myself company. Loneliness comes about … when I am one and without company’ but desire it and cannot find it. In solitude, Arendt never longed for companionship or craved camaraderie because she was never truly alone. Her inner self was a friend with whom she could carry on a conversation, that silent voice who posed the vital Socratic question: ‘What do you mean when you say …?’ The self, Arendt declared, ‘is the only one from whom you can never get away – except by ceasing to think.’

Arendt’s warning is well worth remembering in our own time. In our hyper-connected world, a world in which we can communicate constantly and instantly over the internet, we rarely remember to carve out spaces for solitary contemplation. We check our email hundreds of times per day; we shoot off thousands of text messages per month; we obsessively thumb through Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, aching to connect at all hours with close and casual acquaintances alike. We search for friends of friends, ex-lovers, people we barely know, people we have no business knowing. We crave constant companionship.

But, Arendt reminds us, if we lose our capacity for solitude, our ability to be alone with ourselves, then we lose our very ability to think. We risk getting caught up in the crowd. We risk being ‘swept away’, as she put it, ‘by what everybody else does and believes in’ – no longer able, in the cage of thoughtless conformity, to distinguish ‘right from wrong, beautiful from ugly’. Solitude is not only a state of mind essential to the development of an individual’s consciousness – and conscience – but also a practice that prepares one for participation in social and political life. Before we can keep company with others, we must learn to keep company with ourselves.Aeon counter – do not remove

This article was originally published by Jennifer Stitt at Aeon and has been republished under Creative Commons.

Jennifer Stitt is a graduate student in the history of philosophy at the University of Wisconsin-Madison.

Before you can be with others, first learn to be alone

Featured Image by Elisabetta Foco on Unsplash

What I Think About When I Talk About Working Out

I don’t always think out loud. But when the time’s right, I do.

One of the most titillating conversations about life involves talking about the things we do to stay active and healthy. Such conversations aren’t frequent, but they’re certainly a mind-opener beyond the stereotypical perspective.

Stating that fitness is nothing but an accomplishment to lose weight disappoints me to my very core. If you’ve ever been a part a similar conversation that lasted for not more than 15 minutes about the importance of staying physically fit and nothing else, then I feel sorry for you.

Who I don’t feel sorry for is the person who shares such an incomplete and self-defeating perspective about fitness. It’s clear why anybody would think the way many do.

Entering a gym is a matter of “necessity” because weight loss is at stake. It is also a matter of “gaining pride” because it’s rewarding, especially for men, to prove their masculinity with muscles. While the idea of a girl or a woman working out is beyond such standards.

Practicing yoga is a matter of “importance” because our culture does well to strike a chord with regards to dealing with stress and life problems. Yes, yoga does help you deal with emotions, but it isn’t a solution in itself. There are many layers to practicing yoga or any other form of exercise that stimulates flexibility and patience.

There’s a benchmark we’d all like to meet, in one way or another. For me, it was to be able to do a split or do a long-mile run. But it’s not anymore. These are no longer goals I’d love to reach, but rather stepping stones for the purpose of doing something. The idea that it’s my purpose to do something, whatever form of physical fitness it may be, might sound vague to you. But it’s what I use, daily, to get on that treadmill, head for my aerial fitness class, or do my inversions training.

The way to do something, is to do anything that requires you to get out of your comfort zone. This thought changed the way I perceived and pursued fitness in my life. I no longer had to incorporate a lifestyle that involved giving time to fitness, it instantly adapted to mine.

You don’t have to force a fitness schedule to reap its benefits. There is a strong case against feeling physically out-of-action and languid. All I did was metamorphose the ropes a bit and the effort I put in inevitably did me.

The psychology of running has been around for years now. And by giving it deeper thought, I’ve realized that it’s non-existent if it’s taken word for word. There is a certain kind of process or transition you go through when you start running. It doesn’t unwrap itself in the first week of training, or even the first month. Running feels different when you do it with the hopes of actually changing. And running feels different when you do it because you want to do it more often. I did it for the latter, but in moments- for the former. Even so, the effort to run reflected back to the way I converse with people and to myself when I’m alone.

When I started feeding my brains with the things that should have motivated me to work out, somehow they never satisfied me. I never obsessed over the details, the tips, or the easy ways to kick-start the “life-changing” process. I was being fed the same things millions of people are and that didn’t work. So I decided to sign up for something that might seem less ordinary, but effective. At least it was in my case.

The act of simply doing it. I didn’t wait to strike a chord with some fitness instructor or diet plan. That wasn’t my purpose. What was, and still is, is to do any form of physical exercise and keep at it. Imagine you’re reading about the same topic over and over again. Not that it’s not interesting to you or you’re getting bored of it, but there will come a point when you need to shift the scales a bit. Read about something else. Some new idea, research, or essay.

I just translated the way I read into what makes me physically active. This kind of behaviorism made up the rest of my life. The expression “know thyself” is confusing and, at the same time, terrifying. Because once you start on this journey, it’s not so much about changing the way you think, but discovering the ethos that exists inside you.

What I’m going to say next is ordinary, but it’s the hard truth- working out shouldn’t be your aim to be accepted and appreciated by others, it has to be your aim to accept yourself. So is working out a good decision or is it a decision that’s right for you, as a human?

When someone tells you to start working out because you start panting when you climb the stairs or when you eat a lot of junk food and are growing a belly- that’s bad advice. It’s normal to start working out because of those reasons, but it’s time to look above and beyond such a confined purpose.

What’s dangerous advice? It’s telling someone to understand the workings of their own mind. That’s when you see yourself as yourself when you work out and not how you want the world to look at you. There’s a slow shift of self-image, the kind that contradicts your effort along the way. And this contradiction cannot be predicted or explained, it’s only felt. That significant mental and physical effort you make for your physical set-up isn’t only physical. It leads to unexpected discoveries and revisions, even emotionally.

The best thing about working out is that you can make up your own purpose of doing so. It doesn’t have to be only one thing or one motive. We live stressful lives, all of us do, and having such options that force us to break that shell, step out, and reflect our choices is what we truly care about. Even if we are a little late at realizing it.

And running along with the fact that there’s a deeper problem (or gift?) to our lifestyle – and that is change – we set up these unrealistic objectives to beat them down and rise above. And that’s precisely what makes us bear a grudge against the idea of working out and living a healthy life.

Loving Yourself Can Hurt Too

From a very young age, you have to realize you’re enough. Instead of letting go of your fears and your toxic thoughts, all at once, strive to be reflective to reason with those toxic thoughts and you’ll soon realize you’re being harsh and incongruous with yourself. Of all the people on the planet, you talk to yourself the most, so make sure you’re saying positive things to yourself.

Question yourself why you struggle to ache for other people’s acceptance. You’re chasing importance as much as you’re craving attention. Don’t do that. Accept, question, and let go of your thoughts and actions that you always find yourself stressing about later. They’re not worth being in you as much as you’re worth something beyond your own comprehension. You’re born out of the same circumstance as anyone who has ever let you down or hurt you and don’t let anyone tell or show you otherwise. It’s about time we realize our own depths and dive into them rather than question it, at every turn. And if it’s pain you crave for, if you want to destroy yourself and anything you touch, as humans do, begin with yourself. If you want to feel pain in love, try loving yourself first and see how that feels like. Because loving starts from within, and if you can love yourself, you can conquer and build anything.

You must realize you’re enough. You must love yourself to experience pain first because the first kind of pain you’d ever want to feel shouldn’t have to be out of a broken relationship. It shouldn’t arise from a loved one. Try loving yourself enough to want to make amends to be better and more grateful.

Who said loving has to only hurt when it’s loving another human being? To love, any kind of love that is, you can hurt yourself too. Trusting others might be difficult, but trusting yourself is no less. If you never loved the way you were, the way you looked, and the way you changed- it will hurt when you start to love yourself now. You’re looking for the perfect relationship with no trace of lies, anger, and suppression, but how would it feel if you love yourself so much that you can’t lie to yourself anymore. You can’t pretend to be somebody else for yourself because you are the way you are. Being you can hurt. It can make you cry. And it can make you feel things you hadn’t felt before. You can scare away your past or prepare for what’s to come while loving yourself and having that hurt you too.

Be the love you never received.

It’s the rush of mindfulness of being who you are and accepting. It’s the practice of letting go of guilt, letting go of fear, and just breathing for the moment. Loving you can take effort. It doesn’t happen in one thought. It takes many nights. But you do love yourself. You love yourself because you work for it and you work on yourself everyday. You don’t mind failing. You don’t push yourself away from you. You stand, you fight, and realize some of your strengths and weaknesses. That’s what makes you unique. That’s what makes you human.

Why do you have to love someone to feel hurt or beaten down by them? You can do that to yourself too. The question is, do you want to? Because only after you feel hurt and destroyed, do you feel the greatness of anything that is love, happiness, gratefulness, and faith.

‘No’ To The Process

You’re at a certain place in your life where saying NO to a few things makes you feel better.

In the history of thinking, shapes have been destroyed and drawn to life, again and again, to place meaning in human emotions and human experiences. How can we go into the depths of ourselves in which our life answers those questions we kept asking others for so long when we unlearn to say no?

What happens when you learn to say ‘no’ is the process in the act of self-acceptance, but heightened only to reach certain memorable paradigms of the mind. You know what you want when you want, and why you want. And even if you can’t comprehend that aspect, it’s still great art. It’s still something. It’s still progress. So, you back down from your interior life by enlarging not in depth, but in abstraction. When I talk about saying ‘no’, what I call self-acceptance, don’t let that fool you for the ultimate dissatisfaction in settling. It’s quite the opposite. Every work of the mind, every word, and every action is a coin with a ‘yes’ on one side and ‘no’ on the other. But to achieve certain qualitative effects, most of the times, saying the word makes a big difference because it matters in emotions, feelings, and experiences.

We need to learn the slow ‘yes’ and the quick ‘no’.
– Tom Friel, former CEO

Such a capability is not explainable in ordinary ways. It is not an idea that you’re putting forward, it’s a stand so that every act and reaction becomes a form of an expressive concept or a means of communication that’s personal to you. Blunt self-accusations of taking things personally is not required. It’s destroying you and your mind. Corrupting you out of your sense of understanding. It’s plain useless. As soon as you get this, you outgrow any form of expression. Just like how beanstalk outgrows and reaches the highest point, it fosters and it ultimately dies. That is what you feel when you learn to say ‘no’ to certain things in life. It’s a sign you’re more than just ten words or even a lifetime too long from becoming a product. It means you’re the sign to take forward because, in every explanation or artistic expression, just the language grows in subtle, but magnanimous ways.

What you don’t do determines what you can do.
– Tim Ferriss, author

What Does Being Alone Mean?

It means having faith in yourself. And it also means to, unerringly, resist certain natural instincts to find your miniature stone among a million others. For if in the greatest agony, being alone can mean many things: it can be a solacing embrace for some while for those a suffocating asylum. There will be many things that will take you away from you, not only to perform day after day on a stage alongside constant comrades but also to find your sense of quiet and meaning in the world where everything seems perplexed.

I find it unusually satiating that how being alone can take you away from paradise, but at the same time, create one for your own. It means that aloneness is extending equally to tap into your ‘desperate, painful’ and somehow bringing to surface the ‘real, candid’ you.  Somehow, from what I see, aloneness is not one thing, but many. It’s not an eye-opener, but merely a kindling of being loyal to you, before anything or anyone else.  What does being alone mean? It is that complicated that we don’t understand? Or is it so simple that we can’t believe in it?

Pay your respects
it is forgotten now
drowning within the shadows
my ego forces me to bow.

Starting as a substance
to consume, judge, and upset
let’s play that game
where we follow the practiced steps.

Actions and reactions
we’re stuck in the habits
of messing the lines
and of labeling our tides.

Only when we’re in deep
we look at how perfect our wounds are
to find out
we’re not the ropes
the strings
or the force
we’re just a living
and the soul in cages of our cosmetic roles.

Silly, it really is
to forget yourself
thoughts are things are mannerisms
why don’t we break the shelves?
become our only ones to
break that companion nonsense
just for a little while
become to become
a stone unmoved
but defected to inspect.

Stop Complaining & Do This on Second Thought

As long as our tomorrow is unpredictable, we may as well destroy our thoughts today by complaining.

Fenced in by how different lives matter today, I’ve identified a serious dilemma and it’s called COMPLAINING. While complaining can mean many things like protesting, disapproving, and even objecting, what I’m referring to is specifically whining and weeping. Two extremely strong words for a qualification to human indiscretion.

“If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.”

– Maya Angelou

One of the things that we hide the most is how we’re so efficiently throwing ourselves over the fence, time and again, to get easily affected by the little things that we do in our lives. Those little things constitute the daily flow of our lives, no matter what we practice and how we preach. Perhaps because we’re constantly surrounded by things that can be measured in terms of happiness, satisfaction, and pleasure, since birth, is why it’s hardwired in us to complain about certain “regulars”. Or it could also be that we know what’s better and how for us to no longer appreciate anything less than that. I find it unwise and simply a waste-of-time to have an opinion of every single aspect of my life, from what I ate for lunch yesterday to the number of books I read this month as opposed to the 4 I read a month before. The fact is that we know better and we always will. But it’s what lies in-between that’s so screwed up. It’s that simple jolt of things that could have been better, but they apparently aren’t.


Is that reason enough to complain?


There is a fine line between what is and what isn’t, between what was and what is, or between what’s seen and what’s understood.  That fine line is called acceptance. It’s the belief in the simple goodness of something. The first step to acceptance is silence. And I mean strictly mean this in a self-improvement essence of compromise. Just by remaining silent and analyzing your thoughts the minute you’re exposed to something that you’d rather want to be replaced to better is the key to accepting and then change, instead of just complaining about it again and again. And this really helps. I sometimes find myself complaining about silly and petty things so many times in a single day that if I had someone over my head for evaluation, I’d rank as an ungrateful bore.

Then one day I asked myself this question: Would my complaining about this (silly thing) bring me any satisfaction? If I could express my answer in an Emoji, it would be the Zippered Mouth Face. And I’d probably be giving myself the Rolling Eyes face just about then.  It’s a negative vibe. There’s nothing worse than doing yourself one of those negative vibes so much that it spreads like a viral disease. Everyone around you has to deal with your complaining habit. They have to live with it and if they have a chance, they’ll definitely run away from you. Honestly, it’s textbook to not complain, but we know that the struggle of life is real and it’s overwhelming, which is why we complain about petty things so much and so often.

It’s time to stop that. No more complaining. We can do this on second thought.

The next time you hear yourself complaining about something that is clearly an insignificant aspect of your life, like food. You hear yourself rambling on, time and again, that you dislike the food you usually eat. It’s too sweet. It’s too sour. It’s too bland. It’s whatever. You consistently find yourself picking out some or the other fault in the food, out loud and more often than often itself- it’s time you made peace with that. And if you can’t, then change it.

“As long as our tomorrow is unpredictable, we may as well destroy our thoughts today by complaining.”

-Ayesha Dhurue

Contribute to the process of what’s making you complain so much. I’m sure you can. If not change that particular aspect of your life, then change your attitude towards it. Tell me if I’m wrong, but you forget the difference between the world and you when you constantly make the world fit according to your standards that can sometimes be senseless when you should actually be making yourself better and stronger in this world. Every individual has his or her own world, own perspective, own ideals, own beliefs, etc. But the catch here is the willingness to change something if you don’t like it, and if you can’t change it then change your world for it.

Habits can become a constant reminder of the unknown. It’s the point you reach when it becomes what you are and what you expect yourself to become in the future. I have a habit of writing for myself, so I write. And after months and months of doing that, I am a writer.

This same theory fairs brilliantly with complaining. If I complain regularly about anything, there will come a point where I might become a complainer for a world full of everything. Let go of that habit. It’s destroying your sense of belonging. If you constantly weep and not change, you’ll belong nowhere. You can only lose what you never had. I read this somewhere and it makes so much sense. You’re gaining so much every single day so be grateful for it. Gratefulness and complaining are magnets and not the friendly kind. The alleged stupidity of complaining is the only symptom of not accepting yourself in this world. It goes beyond that what’s out there. Complaining is a trait for the inner state-of-mind. It’s when a person is disconnected with his own mind. And that’s what makes him a frustrated and bothered individual.

To stop complaining and find a better path in life, stay silent for a minute and find your peace of mind when you’re accepting a situation for what it is. If you can’t change, all of this world will be a faultfinding domain for you. And if something can’t change, no matter how hard you try, your pursuits will limit themselves into believing that your life is a clear reflection of those things you constantly complain about.

Enough is Enough

I can’t say this enough and I won’t even stop.

At an indefinite time in your life, you’ll come across a person, an entity, who is either like you or not. This new experience will teach you new things, it will open new doors and you’ll grasp acceptance and recognition of things you never thought were actual in reality. They just seemed like distant possibilities to you or maybe you weren’t open to new ideas and life-altering reversals. So, what changed? That person. That entity changed the way you thought you thought about certain things or basically life in general. This person can be anyone: your family member, a close friend, a lover, or just a random stranger you happen to converse with one fine day.

Now, you’ve been unlocked. Your feelings, perceptions, and life stories have become a real thing between what’s left between you and that person.

What’s next?

What are you going to talk about tomorrow or the day after tomorrow?

The next step is going to be an attachment. It’s going to be boldness stuck together with freedom of expression. That’s easy, right? In the end, you just have to want to speak to someone and exchange sentences about the different masks this world gives birth to at one corner and wears on another. It’s your way of life up against that person’s, although not in a competitive, but comparative manner. No matter how we stand up for ourselves and no matter how many like-minded and poles-apart kind of people we encounter, we are all scrutinizing morons. We’re deep in thoughts and meaning, that we forge reflections and precedents of how we are when we meet someone new. We compare. We become experts of humanity. We judge. And finally, we have “vibes”.

You know what.

Screw those vibes. Those vibes are shitty and you know it.

Enough is enough. As deep in thought as we think we are, we’re a bunch of stupid-headed, easily-manipulated humans who just don’t get it. Emotions have always been a kind gift during good times and an ignorant burden during troubling times. Still, we fail to understand it. Do you get what I’m talking about now? I think you do. But I’m not sure that you do. Let me just say it.

Stop comparing humans with humans, life experiences with life experiences, and more importantly, stop comparing two exact same entities in a magnified state. It didn’t do you good yesterday. It won’t tomorrow. It won’t help you grow.

Now, you’d expect me to say something like ‘what isn’t helping you, is destroying you’. But I won’t say that because why does everything that we do have to either be good or bad for us to understand its purpose in our life? Comparing doesn’t serve any useful purpose. Enough is a limit that comparison doesn’t understand and once you begin to concern yourself with how your chapter turned out in relation to somebody else’s, and this is somebody you know, not somebody you follow on social media, you’ll soon forget the meaning of “self” and focus on how to make others happy and satisfied.

Once there was a small girl, she thought she wasn’t pretty and didn’t acquire much educational support because she came from a poor and bedridden family. Now, this wasn’t going to stop her from meeting classmates that lived a life very different than hers, and she never, for a second, compared the way she lived with those around her.

You know why?

Because she wasn’t taught to. She wasn’t manipulated by shiny objects and big degrees because she wasn’t taught to. The only thing her parents did right by not teaching her anything was that they never taught her to hate herself. And neither did they teach her the right things because as soon as she grew into the art of making new friends and bonding, she soon began to compare her day with that of her not-so-poor, but not completely rich friends. What that one close friend of hers did on Tuesday morning was closely compared to how she spent hers. The little things like going to the park, watching a movie, eating candy, and acquiring new notebooks for study was held in intimate inspection by this small girl, and through no fault of her own, time passed relentlessly. Without her even realizing it, this mere trait in her left a mark so deep and so ever-lasting that she missed out on so many opportunities and experiences that otherwise might have helped her reach her goals in a more productive way. But she didn’t quite mind the struggle. It wasn’t going to destroy her. She knew it controlled her actions, but she understood that that’s the one thing in her life that’s not changing regardless, so when something doesn’t do harm, why bother changing it, right?

After many such years, this small girl became a woman in her thirties. She had sufficient money to live her kind of life. She lived happily. And worked and made her stand with all her heart, but something felt amiss. Not for her, but for the way she saw things around her. It felt like the curtains were half open, but the point was to breathe and so she did with what she built for herself, but that’s not the purpose of humanity. We aren’t supposed to breathe from inside a box just because it’s sufficient, we’re supposed to break free and strive for depth, when we can. But we choose not to. Yes, there’s a difference.

A huge difference. I’ll talk about that later, someday.

The moral of this short story was that there will be many things that you do and feel that might not affect you now or ever, but they hold no meaning. Get rid of those things. They don’t matter because they hold no value. They’re empty. They’re nothing. Why should you possess such a boring manner when you’re already achieving greater things in life? If you think you’re fearless to conquer that what sets your soul on fire, then why should you waste your time even remotely contemplating on something that’s got nothing on you?

Comparing is a power. For some, it’s dominant. For some, it’s submissive. I don’t believe in labeling and neither do I in the classification of everything, so if and when, for me, comparing is neither of two- still I’ll work my strength off to fight away its existence.

Enough is enough. And honestly, you’ve already had and won’t stop having enough in life. Why should you complicate when you can just let the daylight in?